Hello, it's me!

This is my first post on my first blog, so I guess I should introduce myself. I want to start by saying that I have made my blog anonymous so that I can write freely about different conflicts in my life without embarrassing or hurting any of the key players. Some of the people who have hurt me or contributed to my pain are people I love and do not want to hurt. Some of them probably deserve some pain and embarrassment, but I don't see this blog as a weapon. I think that expressing myself through writing will be therapeutic, and if you follow this blog, you will no doubt see that I could probably use some therapy.

Both of my parents were molested growing up and as they say, history repeats itself. My mother had a tendency to attract child molesters, and my father was one. This made for a tough childhood for their 5 children (four of which were girls). They divorced when I was about 8, but there was always a child predator in the house. I got married at the ripe old age of 17 in order to escape living with either of them.

I have 5 children of my own (only one girl) and I am overprotective and paranoid to a fault. I am still married to the same man after almost 15 years. I managed to pick a decent guy (meaning not a child molester or abusive in any way). My first son was born while I was still just 17. He passed away from SIDS when he was just 16 days old.  We adopted our only daughter. My oldest living son and I both have Asperger's Syndrome.My husband was in the military for just under 12 years, and now we are struggling to make it in a civilian life for the first time in our adult lives. That is a lot of new tricks for us "old dogs" to learn. We are struggling to adjust.

I feel like going through all of these things in my life gives me a very unique point of view. I am not just a middle aged woman. I am a victim, a survivor, a fighter, a mother, a military wife, a struggler, an "aspie", the parent of an "aspie", the parent of an angel baby, an adoptive mother, a friend, a lover, a student (from time to time), and so much more.